By Dr. Lauren Servino

It was the third time in the same week I had walked around my house frantically searching for my keys.

With a baby on one hip and a diaper bag slipping off my shoulder, I only then realized they were in my other hand.

Pregnancy Brain. In hindsight, I can laugh about those moments. But when I was in the middle of it, I felt like I was losing my mind.

I have always been sharp and efficient. As an OB GYN and high-performing woman who prided herself on always being “on,” I suddenly wasn’t. Pregnancy, even those early years of motherhood, slowed my thoughts, lengthened my decision time, and I’d walk into a room and forget why I was there. My husband was frustrated, and so was I.

I know I’m not alone in this. Many women see the “pregnancy brain” not as a humorous byproduct of pregnancy, but as a defect and a price to pay for parenthood. I felt that way too, like something in me had broken.

But now, with hindsight, what I didn’t understand at the time is that nothing was broken at all. Instead, the brain is rewiring for this new season and purpose in life.

What Is Actually Happening in Your Brain

During pregnancy, your brain undergoes one of the most significant structural reorganizations of your life. What we call “pregnancy brain” is something researchers have documented as neural remodeling during pregnancy, a pruning and reshaping process that refines the brain's architecture and continues into motherhood.

During pregnancy, the hormonal changes a woman’s body experiences are extraordinary. Estrogen can increase up to 300-fold, progesterone up to 20-fold, with oxytocin and prolactin steadily rising. These shifts affect the body, but they also reshape the brain.

Research shows that during this time, there is a small reduction in gray matter volume, alongside the strengthening of white matter connections. The result is a brain that is more specialized, particularly in areas related to empathy, emotional processing, and bonding. It is heightening your senses, deepening your capacity for connection, and building attunement you will need for your journey as a mother.

The Multitasking That Wasn't There Before

People often notice that moms suddenly seem to multitask differently once the baby arrives, but that’s also not by accident. Science calls it neuroplasticity, the brain's remarkable ability to reorganize itself, grow new neurons, and forge new connections in response to the demands placed on it. Pregnancy is one of the most powerful neuroplasticity triggers that exists.

Research also suggests these changes can persist for years postpartum, showing that they are not a temporary inconvenience but a lasting transformation.

What it Looks Like in Real Life

For example, in those early years and during pregnancy, everything took more time. My mental processing felt slower and heavier. Decisions I used to make in a split second, I found myself waffling over for much longer.

I later realized the lag wasn’t a sign that I was processing less. It was a sign I was processing more. All these changes in my brain were helping me adjust to my new role as a mom.

Every decision now carried layers it never had before. I wasn’t just thinking about myself, but about my children, born and preborn. About their needs, their emotions, their safety, and their future. My mind wasn’t dull but expanding. It just took time to learn how to organize that new level of complexity.

And like any new skill, it got easier.

With time, I became faster again, but in a different way that was more intuitive and in tune with myself, my husband, and my children. My empathy deepened, and so did my comfort with difficult emotions. I learned to notice when my kids were sad before they could tell me. Later, I could sense when they were struggling as teenagers, even when they didn’t want to say it out loud.

That same awareness changed the way I practiced medicine.

I became more perceptive with my patients. I could pick up on worry, fear, or discomfort, even when they couldn’t quite put it into words. I learned how to lean in and sit with difficult emotions.

Looking back now, I can see that what I once struggled against was actually shaping me.

Motherhood is hard, but the rewards are unlike anything else I’ve experienced in life. Becoming a mother stretched me in ways I never expected. It required me to let go of who I thought I was and learn someone new.

The Part Nobody Tells You

The struggle of forgetfulness, brain fog and difficult parts of motherhood are not something we often talk about as women. The moments of feeling like you've lost your edge are real. It can be lonely and isolating.

Remember that your brain is expanding and stretching for thousands of new variables at once. And over time, with a little patience and grace, you will rebuild yourself in a different way.

You haven't lost anything. You're transforming.

It’s one of the best transformations there is.

Dr. Lauren Servino is an OB/GYN in private practice in Portland, Oregon. Drawing from her background in journalism and her own high-risk pregnancies, she is committed to walking alongside her patients with compassion, helping them feel seen, valued, and supported every step of the way.

Sources

1. Hoekzema E, et al. Pregnancy leads to long-lasting changes in human brain structure.
   Nature Neuroscience. 2017;20(2):287–296. doi:10.1038/nn.4458
2. McCormack M, et al. Pregnancy-related brain remodeling: insights from recent imaging studies.
   Nature. 2024;636(8043):583-584. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12086704/
3. Orchard ER, et al. Matrescence: lifetime impact of motherhood on cognition and the brain.
   Trends in Cognitive Sciences. 2023;27(3):302–316.
4. Pritschet L, et al. Functional reorganization of the maternal brain during and after pregnancy. Nature Neuroscience. 2024;27(11):2253-2260.
5. Rilling JK. The neural and hormonal bases of human parental care. Neuropsychologia. 2013;51(4):731–747.