Dr. Suzanne Slayton-Milam

Nobody tells you that the most natural thing in the world can also be one of the hardest.

Breastfeeding is that thing.

I've been practicing obstetrics and gynecology for 33 years. And in all that time, I have never met a mother who didn't bring at least one quiet fear into her breastfeeding journey: Will I be able to do this? Will my milk come in? Will it hurt? Will my baby get enough?

These questions are common. They are understandable. And they deserve an honest answer.

One of the reasons breastfeeding can feel so uncertain is because it is far more intricate than it appears. Researchers like Dr. Katie Hinde at the University of Arizona's Comparative Lactation Lab have shown us just how dynamic breast milk truly is. What once seemed simple is actually a highly responsive, living system, changing moment by moment to meet the needs of your baby.

For example, when your baby is exposed to illness, your body responds. Through the interaction between your baby's saliva and your breast, there's growing evidence that your milk can increase protective white blood cells and deliver targeted antibodies. When your baby is growing rapidly, the fat and protein content shift. When your baby is stressed, calming compounds may be present.

In many ways, your body already knows what to do, even when you feel unsure.

And yet, even with that extraordinary design, breastfeeding is not always easy.

I often remind mothers that it is okay for something natural to still be difficult.

Breastfeeding can feel like climbing a steep mountain in the early days. There can be physical discomfort, emotional uncertainty, and moments when you question whether you're doing it "right."

This is where support becomes essential.

If your hospital offers lactation support, I strongly encourage you to take advantage of it, both during their stay and after they return home. One-on-one guidance, whether in person or through a virtual visit, can be incredibly helpful in those early days. Doulas, breastfeeding classes, and trusted educational resources can also give you confidence and practical tools when things feel uncertain.

You do not have to figure this out on your own.

It's also important to gently reframe a common misconception: that breastfeeding is "free." While there is no purchase at a store, it requires your time, your energy, and your physical reserves. It is truly a labor of love.

This is why your support system matters so much.

Having a partner, family member, or friend who understands what you're experiencing, and who is willing to help with meals, rest, and daily tasks, can make a significant difference. Make sure you are nourishing yourself, staying hydrated, and allowing your body to recover and adjust.

At the same time, there are real and lasting benefits to breastfeeding for both you and your baby.

For mothers, breastfeeding is associated with a decreased risk of breast, ovarian, and endometrial cancers. It also lowers the risk of cardiovascular disease and diabetes, and can help regulate blood sugars for those with type II diabetes. For babies, breast milk provides not only ideal nutrition but also built-in immune protection that continues to evolve alongside their needs.

Still, even understanding these benefits does not remove the challenges that can arise.

Some babies may struggle with latching, sometimes due to a tongue tie. Some mothers may experience supply concerns, which can be influenced by factors such as thyroid conditions, cesarean delivery, or underlying health issues. Up to 20% of women experience delayed milk production, where milk does not come in fully until three to four days postpartum.

If this happens to you, it does not mean you are failing.

Simple actions, like early and frequent skin-to-skin contact, beginning in the delivery or recovery room, can help support milk production. If direct breastfeeding is difficult at first, hand expression or pumping can help maintain supply while you and your baby learn together.

In some cases, supplementation may be needed, and that is okay. The goal is not perfection: the goal is a healthy baby and a supported mother. Your healthcare providers can help you find that balance.

Pain is another common concern that often goes unspoken longer than it should. While some initial discomfort can be expected, ongoing or severe pain is not something you should simply endure. It can be caused by latch issues, nipple injury, blocked ducts, or infection. If you notice fever, redness, warmth, or tenderness, reach out to your doctor promptly. Early support can make a significant difference and prevent more serious complications.

It is also worth considering the practical reality of this season. If possible, understand your maternity leave options and give yourself the time and space to establish breastfeeding and bond with your baby. Set realistic expectations for yourself and your journey. Around six months, solid foods begin to be introduced, but continued breastfeeding, even if no longer exclusive, continues to offer meaningful benefits.

And through all of this, I encourage you to hold onto something that can easily be lost in the questions and the logistics:

This is not about merely feeding your child. Breastfeeding is also about connection.

In those quiet moments, as you hold your baby and meet their eyes, something deeper is happening. Your baby is learning your voice, your expressions, and your presence. These early interactions help shape brain development, emotional security, and the foundation of trust.

It may not always feel easy. There may be moments of doubt, frustration, or fatigue. But there is also something deeply meaningful unfolding in the process.

And whatever your journey looks like, you are not alone in it.

Dr. Suzanne Slayton-Milam is a board-certified obstetrician-gynecologist and a native of Clark County. She completed her residency at St. Louis University and has been in private practice for more than 16 years. She has held several leadership roles at Legacy Salmon Creek Hospital, including serving as Department Chair for Women & Children’s Services and participating on the planning committee. Outside of her professional work, Suzanne enjoys cooking, gardening, and spending time with her husband and children.

Sources

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