by Chelsea Mynyk, APN-CNM

What do sadness, relief, and anticipation have in common?  

They’re what a mother described when she began to stop breastfeeding. What an emotional tailspin! 

“Everyone talks about postpartum depression,” she told me, “but no one tells you about weaning from breastfeeding and the overwhelming emotions you feel!” 

As a certified nurse midwife who's guided moms through this transition for two decades, I hear some version of that all the time.

Whether you’ve breastfed for two weeks or 18 months, weaning is hard. The sudden mood swings, discomfort, and grief can be overwhelming. You’re not alone. You’re experiencing a biological and psychological process. These intense feelings occur while weaning because your hormones are changing.  

Let’s look at how your body prepares your hormones for breastfeeding. 

The hormonal landscape of breastfeeding

When the placenta separates, progesterone and estrogen decline. Prolactin then dominates, a hormone that produces milk and makes you feel calm. Oxytocin — another hormone that goes up — helps you bond with your baby and gives you a sense of love, peace, and security. When breastfeeding stops, these two hormones start to go down. You can imagine what this does to your mood. 

If you know what your body is doing while weaning, you can prepare for some tricky feelings. Remember: you’re not losing your ability to cope. You’re not developing health issues. Your hormone changes can cause some of these symptoms: 

• Mood instability 

• Sadness 

• Anxiety 

• Irritability  

This is a clinical diagnosis sometimes called Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex (D-MER). These symptoms usually happen during letdown and last a few minutes. The shifting hormones of D-MER cause psychological changes for about three months or if you produce milk.  

The physical symptoms of weaning

As your hormones reset, your mood changes, and your body does, too. Estrogen climbs back up and your milk supply winds down. As these things happen you may experience these other normal symptoms: 

• Breast Engorgement: Milk trapped in your ducts can make your breasts hard, warm, and painful. 

• Irregular Cycles: As your ovaries awake, your first few menstrual periods may be unpredictable or heavy. You could have intense Postmenstrual Syndrome. 

• Sleep Disruption: Night sweats and insomnia are common as estrogen fluctuates, mimicking mild menopausal symptoms. 

• Skin Changes: Acne breakouts, often around the jawline, may happen a lot as your body recalibrates. 

Although these symptoms are normal, you should talk to a healthcare professional if any of these other things happen: 

• Severe, throbbing breast pain or localized redness and warmth  

• A hard lump that doesn’t go away or red streaks on the breast 

• A fever over 101.3℉ (38.5℃) or flu-like chills/body aches (mastitis)  

Gradual versus abrupt weaning

Medical and psychological research strongly advocates for gradual weaning whenever possible. Dropping nursing sessions slowly allows your hormone levels to decline in a gentle slope rather than a vertical cliff, drastically reducing the severity of mood crashes and physical engorgement. 

If you have the flexibility to plan your transition, consider the following structural approach: 

1. Drop one session at a time during the day. Typically, bedtime feeding is the last one to wean from. 

2. Identify the nursing session your child is least attached to (often a midday feed) and eliminate it first. Wait several days to a week for your body and your child to adjust before dropping the next one. 

3. If dropping a whole session is too difficult, cut the time spent at the breast in half for a few days to signal your body to slowly reduce supply. 

4. Manage physical discomfort safely during the transition. Do not pump to completely empty your breasts, as this signals your body to make more milk. Instead, hand-express or pump for just 60 seconds to relieve extreme pressure. Use cold compresses and wear a firm, supportive bra (avoid tight underwires, which can block ducts). 

5. Maintain the bond by replacing physical closeness. To ease the emotional transition for both of you, intentionally substitute nursing time with alternative physical closeness — extra skin-to-skin snuggles, reading together in a special chair, or offering a comforting back rub. 

The emotional dimension

Beyond the hormonal and physical aspect, weaning carries deep psychological weight that many mothers feel they aren't "allowed" to openly mourn. 

It is important to remember that breastfeeding requires a mother to use her literal body to sustain and soothe her child. Ending that relationship signifies the loss of a very specific, intense form of physical closeness. It forces a transition in how a mother comforts her child, and serves as a stark, emotional reminder of how fast the child is growing up and moving away from total dependency. Experiencing a profound sense of grief, nostalgia, or identity shift during this time is entirely normal. 

While emotional volatility and physical shifts are part of the normal weaning landscape, you should not have to white-knuckle your way through it. 

Reach out to a healthcare professional if you experience any of the following: 

• Persistent Depression or Anxiety: If low mood, feelings of hopelessness, severe anxiety, or intrusive thoughts last longer than two to three weeks after weaning is complete, or if they interfere with your ability to care for yourself or your child. 

• Signs of Mastitis: A fever (temperature >101℉), chills, flu-like symptoms, or a red, hot, swollen area on your breast require prompt medical attention for antibiotics. 

• Severe Sleep Issues: Insomnia that persists even when your baby is sleeping soundly, which can be an early indicator of postpartum/post-weaning mood disorders. 

• Thoughts of Self-Harm: If you experience any thoughts of harming yourself or others, seek immediate emergency medical care. 

Weaning is a major milestone — one that marks both an ending and a beautiful new beginning in your relationship with your child. By naming the hormonal shifts, honoring the emotional gravity, and pacing the physical transition, you can navigate this hidden landscape with the gentleness and respect your body deserves.  

You’ve got this, mom. 

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Chelsea Mynyk, APN-CNM, is a licensed nurse practitioner, certified nurse midwife, and the owner of Castle Rock Women’s Health in Colorado. With two decades of experience in pediatric and maternal nursing, she offers life-affirming reproductive and maternal healthcare services.   

Sources  

• Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Infant and Toddler Nutrition, Weaning. 9/8/2021. Last Accessed Date: 07/23/2026. Available from: https://www.cdc.gov/nutrition/infantandtoddlernutrition/breastfeeding/weaning.htm 

• Frawley, T. and McGuinness, D. (2023), Dysphoric milk ejection reflex (D-MER) and its implications for mental health nursing. Int J Mental Health Nurs, 32: 620-626. https://doi.org/10.1111/inm.13115 

• Mahon, J., & Dreyer, P. (2024). Primiparous women's experiences of unwanted early cessation of breastfeeding: A qualitative study. Nordic Journal of Nursing Research, 44, 20571585241276464.  

• Pommeret‐de Villepin, B., Barasinski, C., & Rigourd, V. (2022). Initiating and supporting breastfeeding: guidelines for interventions during the perinatal period from the French National College of Midwives. Journal of Midwifery & Women's Health, 67, S56-S73. 

• Say, B. L. (2025). The Physiology of Breastfeeding. Clinical Guidance in Breastfeeding-Physiology, Success, and Challenges: Physiology, Success, and Challenges, 3.