Q&A with Riley Gaines: Motherhood, Faith, & the Next Generation

Riley Gaines Barker never set out to become a national voice in one of the biggest cultural conversations of our time.

A 12-time All-American swimmer, Riley was thrust into the national spotlight after competing against transgender swimmer Lia Thomas at the 2022 NCAA Women’s Swimming Championships. What happened in and around that competition became a defining moment for Riley, ultimately leading her to speak publicly about women’s sports, sex-based protections, and what she believes is at stake for the next generation.

Since then, Riley has taken that message across the country, speaking before lawmakers and on college campuses.

And now, the future Riley has spent years speaking up for feels more personal than ever: she and her husband, Louis, are raising a daughter of their own.

Motherhood has made the little moments more meaningful and given Riley an even deeper reason, as she puts it, to “stand firm when it would be easier to fold.”

We sat down with Riley Gaines Barker to talk about a side of her you may not always see: life at home, motherhood, faith, family, the lessons she hopes to pass down to her daughter Margot (and, of course, what you’ll always find in her diaper bag).

Get to Know Riley Gaines Barker

What has been your favorite part of motherhood so far?

Watching the wonder of the world through her eyes. You rediscover simple joy in things that feel completely mundane. Like when the dogs shake off after getting out of the pool. I would normally be annoyed if I got splashed in the process. Margot thinks it’s the funniest thing ever and laughs deep from her belly. Now I love when the dogs shake the water off.

Motherhood has made me slow down and appreciate the little things I probably would have overlooked before.

What’s one thing about becoming a mom that surprised you?

How true all the clichés are. I thought “time flies,” “don’t blink,” and “every stage is the best stage” were just obligatory things people said to expecting or first-time moms. Honestly, I probably rolled my eyes when I was told, “It goes by so fast.” Now my daughter is a year old, which makes absolutely no sense because I feel like I had her a week ago.

And just how right my own mom was…about everything. Mom, if you’re reading this, you have been right about more things than I’ll probably ever admit to you!

What’s one lesson from your years as a competitive swimmer that you hope to pass down to Margot?

Accountability. When you learn to hold yourself and others accountable to your goals and responsibilities, you become a better leader and teammate. I learned that lesson in the pool, but it translates far beyond athletics and into every area of life.

What does your perfect day at home with your family look like?

I’m pretty simple. I’m on the road and traveling so much that any day I wake up and fall asleep in my own bed feels like a perfect day. Ideally, it would include an early start, a workout, some coffee, a good meal, and lots of family time. Nothing extravagant, just being home with the people I love.

When you get a little time to yourself, how do you like to spend it?

Probably exercising. When I’m pushing my body to do hard things, I feel my strongest and, in turn, my most confident. I also find working out to be such a cathartic release and a great stress reliever. I’m a big believer in pushing the boundaries of what you think you’re physically capable of.

What are three things that are always in your diaper bag?

EveryLife Diapers, EveryLife Wipes, and a Chomps beef stick haha

With such a busy life, what helps keep you grounded?

My husband. He is my constant through all the ups and downs. And, of course, my faith in Christ. Once you shift your perspective and understand that the war has already been won, it becomes a lot easier to carry on with a smile, even when things around you feel chaotic.

Has becoming a mom changed the way you think about the next generation?

It’s hard to explain the instinctual altruism you feel to defend the next generation once you have a child of your own. It has made the cultural chaos feel even more urgent to combat.

Rather than approaching these issues personally or selfishly, I find myself thinking about the world my daughter (and the children who come after her, God-willing) will inherit. You realize pretty quickly that you’re not just fighting for yourself anymore and that’s far more consequential.

I look at her and I see a reason to stand firm when it would be easier to fold.

Is there a family tradition from your childhood you can’t wait to share with Margot?

I think the traditions we’ve always had around birthdays and holidays. Spending time with family, gathering around the table, and making the ordinary moments feel special.

One of my favorite traditions is reading the story of Jesus on Christmas morning before opening gifts. I can’t wait to experience those traditions through Margot’s eyes and create some of our own as a family.

What’s one thing you hope Margot always knows as she grows up?

That being a woman is not a weakness. It is a gift. I hope she grows up knowing that she never has to apologize for being a woman, make herself smaller to make someone else comfortable, or believe that strength requires her to become someone she’s not.

One day when your children are asked about you as a mom, what do you hope they say?

I hope they say I taught them to work hard, to stand up for what’s right, to have a backbone, and to call out injustice when they see it. But more than anything, I hope they say my husband and I showed them what it looks like to love and follow Christ.

Just for Fun

Early bird or night owl?

EARLY BIRD. Easy.

Coffee or sweet tea?

Is “both” an acceptable answer? Coffee in the morning, sweet tea anytime after 10am.

Pool or beach?

Beach, despite how much of my life I've spent in a pool

Favorite snack?

Hummus

Current favorite baby product?

Hair bows.

Most-used emoji?

🥹

Dream family vacation?

Somewhere out west. Hiking, skiing, animal-watching, and disconnecting from the world. Or Dubai. Louis grew up there, so we would love to go back and visit!

One thing people might be surprised to learn about you?

I've got a tattoo on the inside of my mouth!

For Riley, motherhood has made the future she’s spent years speaking up for more personal than ever. Whether she’s standing before a crowd or at home soaking up the ordinary moments with Margot, the things grounding her remain the same: faith, family, and the courage to stand firm in what she believes.

Want to see more from Riley? Discover her EveryLife favorites, why she chooses EveryLife for her family, and more.